Thursday night- apparently they needed to hire someone from overseas for this

I've arrived in London and am trying to figure out how to get from the airport to my hotel, when I encounter the guy who sat next to me on the flight. Sometime between leaving the plane and exiting Customs, he's been issued with a vacuum cleaner. We go to a pub outside the airport to get a beer. He tells me that he's come to London to start his new job on a cruise ship. His job is to vacuum the entire ship before it leaves, which will take 3 months.

Why am I dreaming about *him*?

Ryan Reynolds is in a movie playing a child molester who's kidnapped a young girl (no older than five). Every day, her family meets at a local burger joint to talk about ways to find her. I meet someone there and we decide to try dating, and for some reason he always orders the same burger as me.

Eventually, the little girl escapes from Ryan Reynolds, who manages to elude capture by framing someone else (his method of framing involves pouring a whole lot of blood on the ground). He finds the little girl, at night, behind the burger joint, and seems to convince her to come back with him. He hoists her up for a piggyback ride; once she's in place, she strangles him until he passes out and then stabs him.

Monday night-

I've won The Ashes. Not through any cricket-related activity; there was some sort of raffle that I wasn't aware I'd entered. Stephen Fry is understandably annoyed.

I receive a Staples box (formerly containing reams of paper), filled with ashes and entirely enclosed by packing tape. I leave it closed. Also delivered is a cardboard tube, within which I find a smaller cardboard tube, within which I find a smaller, refrigerated, cardboard tube. Inside the smallest tube is a very old document, which I remove only partially, then return to the tube unread.

Monday- The fall will probably kill ya

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid didn't really end where everyone thinks it did. The pair escape from the Army and are on the run across a wide plain. Butch is shot from afar and killed. Sundance, now played by Albert Brooks, is captured by a heavily-armed group of men. They discuss at length how they will kill him. The leader of the gang says he is going to stab Sundance in the heart. Sundance requests to be shot, but the knife is insisted upon. Ultimately, another chase scene begins, entirely on foot. After a long while, Sundance/Albert Brooks evades them enough to take shelter in Betty White's house. She agrees to let him stay.

Wednesday night- My Little Hive Mind

I am on a planet populated by flying unicorns. They are white, with pink or purple manes & tails. In size, they are somewhere between bumblebees and hummingbirds. They live in hives and mostly act like bees, but instead of stings, they have razor-sharp tails that they use to cut the tops off flowers.
sacred heart fractal
  • elf_owl

Not so pleasant dream.

I was on my way to Michael's house. At first, I was walking, in a city that looked nothing like Tucson, though I knew it was Tucson. It was more like an east coast city, but older... The side walks were very crowded and a woman with dark hair was annoying me, but I don't remember why/how. Some of the street names were actual Tucson street names, some were not and those made me feel lost and mildly upset. I was then driving a van and the city looked like an imagined old British city. On the windshield, a man's face popped up. It looked like a cut-out picture, but it moved like it was t.v. I knew it was, in fact, the televised news. He was telling about a man who had killed his two daughters and had been attempting to kill his son when his wife found him in the act and killed him. There was a new version of Chumbawamba's song "Stitch That" playing; they'd adapted it to this situation. I had to move my head around a bunch to see around the face in the windshield so that I could see where I was going. It seemed to take ages to arrive at Michael's. It was a huge relief when I did.

numb3rs + shark week + ER + musicals =

1. I'm on some sort of space mission with the Eppes brothers. Don and I are doing a space walk while fixing something on the outside of the ship, when we get called back to Earth. So down we go (just like that, apparently), and find ourselves floating on a clear river through a cave. The river is teeming with sharks, some of which occasionally pop their heads out of the water, or leap completely out and splash down again. I can feel them occasionally brush against my legs, and I notice that one of them is tracking me. I want to go faster, but I don't want to panic.

2. I'm an ER nurse, caring for a surrogate mother and the baby she's just birthed. The parents are in the waiting room, and everything's going fine, and all of a sudden the doctor in charge starts working on the baby, who's not breathing. The surrogate is covered in blood and is having a seizure, but the doctor says she's okay. He then says to wait ten minutes, then tell the parents that the baby died. So I do, and try to find the doctor to talk to them, but I can't. I don't know his name, so I can't page him. One of the other doctors, who looks like Kiefer Sutherland, is in his office, so I'm sitting on a high shelf, waiting to talk to him, when a big, angry-looking man charges up to me. He stares at me for a moment, then breaks into a wide grin and points to a pile of trash in the corner. I shrug and say that I'm not cleaning it up. The man is confused.

3. I'm in a musical that seems to be a cross between Quilters, Yankee Doodle Dandy, and A Chorus Line. There's a huge group of people carrying a quilt (that's supposed to be a body) over their heads while standing in a double line and singing "Give My Regards to Broadway." I try to get into the line, but I can't remember the words or the dance steps. No one else seems to remember them, either. Eventually, Marilyn Monroe steps out of the line, says it's a stupid show, and stalks off. I privately agree.
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    confused confused

Friday night: Food festival

In the presentation portion of the Great Salad Festival, Erica's entry is about a meatball sandwich wrap. She is assisted by Sharif with a silly accent. As we sit in the audience, my mother is disgusted with me. She wants to know why I'm naked. Confused, I try to explain to her that I am simply not wearing a bra. As I am in fact wearing shorts and a tank top, that doesn't count as naked. She refuses to listen.

Later, a coworker and I wander the festival looking for the soft-serve ice cream stand, but it's gone.


I'm being led into a gas chamber with a crowd. There are two Nazis standing at the entrance, and one of them hands me a program. No one but me seems to know that it's a gas chamber, even though there are skeletons in the corners and eerie silhouettes in the walls. I say an act of contrition, thinking it probably won't do any good, and I wonder what the Zyklon-B is gonna smell like, if it's going to hurt, and if I'm going to get trampled when the screaming starts.

Glad to wake up from that one.
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    aggravated ugh