rob, Heather and I have been hired to hunt down and take out a serial killer hiding in the woods in California. We make a stop at a boarded up building in Baltimore somewhere for Heather to retrieve their equipment, and, hopefully, a pair of shoes for me. Meanwhile, a group of locals gather in the backyard of this house to mourn the loss of some neighborhood children. I remark to rob that, really, it would be a lot more fun to hunt someone down through this abandoned section of B-more than forests in CA. He agrees, Heather returns, and we set out on our way, me still barefoot.
Traveling cross-country equates to running through inner city alleys, most of which are uphill, filled with sand, and sprinkled with broken glass. I make it through without cutting my feet, but decide to try to find a shoe store as soon as possible. Eventually we reach our destination, and I tell them I'm going to stop in an outdoors-equipment shop before we head into the woods.
They have shoes right inside the door, but I realize I have no other sort of gear, so I poke around and eventually find a nice, waterproof jacket that won't make too much noise running around in the woods. I go to purchase these items and discover that it's "buy one, have a burger with the staff" day at this particular store. They force me to wait around while the burgers are cooked and prepared. Eventually I get my food, wolf it down, and run outside.
Heather and rob have been replaced by thegreatape
and my friend Will from high school. They are very nervous and whisper to me that while I was in the store, they took a walk, and "that thing we came here to do, we don't have to do it anymore." Then they recommend that I go find one of the CID officers and give a statement.
There are no CID officers to be found, just several British Police constables who seem to have better things to do than listen to me. I wander down the street with no luck, then back to the building we were standing outside of originally, which is a Victorian-looking building that seems to house a university's Physical Sciences department.
Wandering around this building, I am suddenly part of the cast of some bizarre, chaotic version of "Whose Line is it Anyway?" along with Greg Proops, a strange combination of Ryan Stiles and Jim Carey, and a younger version of the guy who plays Hurley on "LOST." Despite my nervousness and general confusion I manage to be quite funny. After the show wraps, the cast and crew transform the stage into a series of lofted beds, where we spend the night.
The next morning we wake up and pack up. Somehow, everybody now has a guitar, and I've got about twice as much to carry as anybody. Somehow I make it downstairs, where Erica is waiting with the car. We start driving, and even though the street signs in this part of the world are tiny and often behind trees, we manage to reach our destination without missing any turns. The building we arrive at looks almost identical to the one we left.
Inside, we are directed out onto the patio for breakfast. The area leading out to the patio looks like the dining/living rooms in Erica's parents' house, if those rooms were stretched out to be about twice as long. Ann and Steve are sitting at the table, and ask me how things are going. I tell them I thought I'd be older before I ended up on "Whose Line..." They say congratulations, then tell me that if I want to get a seat at a table with Joanna and Sharif, I should probably go find one now before they're all taken.